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Module 2.2: Anger and Being Effective - Exercises

Anger Notebook / Anger Invitations

One of the ways to learn about your anger is to keep track of the times you are or could get angry. It is important that you keep a good record of these "invitations".

You can use this tool once, or only when you find it helpful, or you can keep a separate notebook to record as many Anger Invitations as you can. Whenever you find yourself getting angry, or when you could have gotten angry, make an entry with this information:

- Date and Time
- Brief description of what happened (a few sentences at most)
- Your initial thoughts when the event occured
- Your initial feelings when the event occured
- Your physical sensations when the event occured; note muscle tension and where, heartbeat or breathing changes, stomach or intestinal sensations, body temperature changes, and any other physical changes you notice
- Your actions; the things you decided to do
- Your choices; any other decisions you could have chosen but didn't

Notice that in each situation you are in that you always have choices: whether or not to get mad, how to express your anger, etc. Take some time to notice the choices you make and what some alternatives might be.

What Anger Costs You

Another way to learn about your anger is in terms of cost. The way we choose to express our anger, or not to, often costs us something in our lives. Take the time to consider and write down how your anger styles are costing you in various areas in your life.

- Health: Consider how often and how intensely you become angry. Notice your body's anger reaction as you complete the Anger Notebook and think about the long term effects. If you become violent or take risks when angry, include those health risks as well.

- Money: Consider the monetary cost of impulsive behavior such as spending money, misplacing cash or breaking valuables, and ability to generate income.

- Social Life: Consider how your anger styles affect how you relate to others and form connections.

- Family: Consider how your anger styles affect the people (and animals) that live with you and other people who share other close connections to you.

- Law: Consider whether the effects of your angry behavior has or can get you into trouble with the law. Think about how serious those incidences have been or could have been.

- Work/School: Consider how your anger affects your ability to be productive, work well with others, and manage your day to day responsibilities.

- Mood Changes: Consider how anger affects your other emotions and mood throughout your day. Think about how often you become angry, and how you tend to feel afterwards.

- Values and Goals: Consider how your anger affects your ability to achieve your goals and be true to your values.

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