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Module 2.6: Suggestions for Partners of Angry People

Living with an angry person is hard work. It may be dangerous. It can even be fatal.

You won't get much praise or appreciation from them. Instead, you get big complaints about little problems, endless criticisms, and a lot of ridiculous tantrums.

But here you are, for better or worse. Somehow you spouse, partner, or friend is angry all the time. Maybe you didn't realize that at first. Maybe you just figured it out.

This isn't going to be easy. Living with a really angry person is like chewing on a lemon, hoping it will taste sweet. Chewing harder doesn't help. Adding sugar only covers up the sour taste for awhile. And pretending a lemon is an orange won't do you any good either.

You may have to spit that lemon out. But before you do, let's take a look at what you can do to make your life better. Here are some suggestions:

- Protect yourself. Your physical safety come first.
- Remember that you have the right to be treated with respect.
- Don't accept responsibility for their anger; you are only responsible for your emotions.
- Watch your own anger. Don't become too angry yourself. Also don't become an anger avoider.
- Don't isolate. Get support from others.
- Think about what the angry person gains with their anger.
- Learn how you have been affected by their anger.
- Think seriously about leaving the relationship or situation if the person won't change their angry behavior.
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