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Module 3.4: Assertiveness - Your Rights

Your Basic Rights

The right to act in ways that promote your dignity and self respect; as long as others' rights are not violated in the process.

 - The right to be treated with respect.
 - The right to say no even when you feel guilty.
 - The right to experience and express your feelings.
 - The right to take time to slow down and think.
 - The right to change your mind.
 - The right to ask for what you want.
 - The right to do less than you are humanly capable of doing.
 - The right to ask for information.
 - The right to make mistakes.
 - The right to feel good about yourself.

Obstacles to Assertiveness

 These are some obstacles which we might have that keep us from practicing being assertive. Identify whether any of the following apply to your experiences:

1. Fear of consequences
2. Lack of confidence
3. Fear of ridicule
4. Fear of criticism
5. Not feeling okay
6. Afraid it won't sound right
7. Not being able to support your opinion
8. Being Passive
9. Fear of not being liked
10. Afraid of aggression (verbal or physical)
11. Fear of hurting feelings
12. Shyness
13. Lack of understanding
14. Feeling guilty
15. Wanting to please others
16. Feeling obligated
17. Intimidation
18. Lack of skills

Manipulations to Stop Assertiveness

These are some behaviors to be on the lookout for when practicing assertiveness while communicating with others. These behaviors attempt to cause irritation or otherwise misdirect from the issue at hand. Consider what you might do to remain assertive if you were faced with any of the behaviors below:

1. Making one feel guilty
2. Bringing up the past
3. "Should" messages
4. Conning someone
5. Threatening or Aggression
6. Laughing
7. Blaming
8. Disappointment
9. Putting someone on the spot
10. Silent treatment
11. Belittling you in front of others, causing embarrassment
12. Making someone feel inferior
13. Questioning of ability
14. Wanting return of favors
15. Pulling rank
16. Interrupting and talking over someone
17. Comparing someone with others
18. Crying
19. Putting someone down
20. Helplessness
21. Emotional blackmail
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