Skip to main content

Module 5.1: Self Esteem

Definition

Self: A person referred to with respect to complete individuality, "One's own Self".

Esteem: To regard highly or favorably with respect or admiration; of value and worth.

Respect: Esteem for or a sense of worth or excellence of a person often combined with affection.

Self esteem is an intimate experience. It is what I think and feel about myself, not what someone else thinks or feels about me.

People with healthy self esteem are not at war with themselves or others.

Exercises:

- Rate your self esteem on a scale of 1 - 10.
- Now, rate yourself on a scale where (1) is "I see self esteem as internal, from myself" and (10) is "I see self esteem as external, depending on the views and perceptions of others".

Basic Assumption:

1) Self esteem is a matter of degree.
2) No one is entirely lacking in self esteem.
3) No one is incapable of growing in self esteem

The Importance of Self Esteem

- Filter through which we interact with, interpret, and experience life.
- Absolute requirement for a fulfilling life.
- Impacts on every aspect of life.
- The higher the self esteem the more able one can cope with life's adversities and challenges.
- More creative, ambitious, and able to take risks.
- Form nourishing rather than destructive relationships.
- More inclined to treat others with respect and goodwill.
- The more joy we experience.
- You are not at war with yourself or others.
- It leads you to believe you have a right to be happy to stand up for your interests and needs.

Origins of Self Esteem

Self esteem develops as we learn who we are and learn how to exist in the world. As children or adolescents, self worth can be undermined by the adults around us. Basic physical needs as well as emotional needs being met help to foster a healthy sense of self worth.

Basic needs: Safety, Warmth, Shelter, Food, Consistency
Emotional needs: Feeling special and valued, receiving affection and attention, and having your feelings validated.

Appropriate parental child boundaries allow for enough freedom to permit exploration within age appropriate moral/ethical guidelines provided by parents.

Thinking back on your own childhood development, consider how the adults and the environments that you grew up around affected your perception of your own worth. Are there some messages that still affect you, even now?
For example, feeling as though your worth is dependent on how hard you work, or what you achieve. Or feeling as though you cannot show weakness, softness, or other emotion in order to prove your strength. Or feeling as though you should stay quiet and invisible to preserve your dignity.

Now That We Are Adults
But we are not merely passive receptacles of other's views of us. Even in our early years, our own choices and decisions play a crucial role in the levels of self esteem we develop. Whatever our upbringing, our self esteem is now in our hands and able to be worked on.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Guide to Modules

Module 1: Rational Emotive Therapy This module uses Rational Emotive Therapy (RET) to address Distorted Thinking. It reveals Faulty Assumptions and Biases that we all hold which influence how we view and react to the world, and gives advice on how to more accurately interpret the world and take control of our emotions. I recommend this module to: - anyone who wants a better understanding how their mind works - anyone who feels that their emotions and feelings are uncontrollable Module 2: Anger and Being Effective This module addresses Anger by teaching Effective methods to deal with intense anger and conflict.  It helps you figure out your personal anger styles, teaches how to make yourself aware of your anger, and skills on how to manage anger. I recommend this module to: - anyone who wants to better resolve conflict in their life - anyone who feels that their anger reactions are unhealthy and would like to learn helpful skills - anyone who lives with or are otherwi...

Helpful Tips for Better Sleep Hygiene

Tips for Improved Sleep Hygiene If you have problems sleeping, them it is important that you practice good sleep hygiene. This means doing things which are known to improve sleep, and avoiding things which are known to disturb sleep. Here are 10 things you should know about getting better sleep; each of these points is based on scientific research, and could help you to get the most out of your sleep. Remember, this advice only applies if you are having sleep difficulties: 1) Products containing caffeine (tea, coffee, cocoa, chocolate, soft drinks, energy drinks, etc) should be discontinued at least 4 hours before bedtime. Caffeine is a stimulant and can keep you awake. 2) Avoid nicotine (including nicotine patches, gum, vaping, etc) an hour before bedtime and when waking at night. Nicotine is also a stimulant. 3) Avoid alcohol around bedtime because although it can promote falling asleep, it can disrupt sleep later in the night. 4) Avoid eating a large meal immedi...

Treating Depression Through Activity and Achievement

The symptoms of depression such as tiredness, lethargy, loss of interest, loss of motivation, loss of pleasure, and indecisiveness can lead to inactivity, and this often keeps the depression going or even make it worse. Also, because of the lack of motivation, a depressed person might begin to neglect everyday tasks and responsibilities at work or at home, and the list begins to pile up. As such, when a depressed person thinks about the things they have to do, they might feel overwhelmed by the pile of things they have put off doing. This might result in them feeling guilty or thinking that they are ineffective or even a failure. This will also worsen the depression. Increasing Your Activity Level One of the ways of overcoming depression is to increase your level of activity. There is a lot of evidence that shows that the more people do, and the more pleasant activities they get involved in, the better they feel. Becoming active has a number of advantages: Activity h...