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Module 5.3: Self Esteem

Love Yourself

1. Stop ALL Criticism. Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

2. Don't Scare Yourself. Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (for example, yellow roses) and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

3. Be Gentle and Kind and Patient. Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.

4. Be Kind To Your Mind. Self hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.

5. Praise Yourself. Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you're doing with every little thing.

6. Support Yourself. Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is bring strong to ask for help when you need it.

7. Be Loving To Your Negatives. Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns.

8. Take Care of Your Body. Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.

9. Mirror Work. Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them too. At least once a day say, "I love you, I really love you!"

10. Do It Now. Don't wait until you get well, or change your body type, or get a new job, or have the relationship you want... Begin now, and do the best you can.

Characteristics of a Person with Low Self Esteem

Shy
Withdrawn
Hostile
Critical of others
Not seen or heard
Can't do...
Manipulative
Give in easily
Isolated
Over aggressive
Trying to please
Little personal opinion
Rounded shoulders
Looking up or down
Ungrounded
Low eye contact
Distrusting
Lonely
Negative outlook

Characteristics of a Person with High Self Esteem

Spontaneous
Volunteering to do things
Happiness
Not having to compare themselves to others
Sharing
Freedom to experience and express anger
Willing/able to take risks
Free to make decisions for themselves
Body posture
Personal care
Ability to step out of "roles" (for example, gender roles)
Ability to accept failure
Ability to accept success
Having friends
Courage to confront adults and be heard
Share opinions
Low aggression
Low defensiveness
High creativity
Ability to trust others
Recognizing others needs
Non-competitive
Realistic perception of strengths and weaknesses

Strategies for Raising Your Self Esteem

- Do something you have always wanted to do, but haven't taken the time to do.

- Identify and work on changing those habits that need changing.

- Get help when you need it. (ex. get counseling, go to the hospital)

- Groom yourself.

- Get a good night's rest.

- Stay away from people and places that lower your self esteem.

- Learn from your failures; don't get down on yourself when you fail.

- Treat yourself. (ex. bubble bath, ice cream sundae)

- Don't be afraid to try.

- Increase your self awareness.

- Share positive thoughts with others.

- Don't be afraid to change.

- Don't put yourself down.

- Be active.

- Realize you can't be perfect.

- Do something you know that you will be complimented for and accept compliments.

- Avoid being a perfectionist, realize you can't be perfect.

- Write down your gains and successes.

- Ask for positive strokes.

- Acknowledge positive strokes; don't discount them.

- Give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done.

- Picture your moments of well being and satisfaction.

- Seek pleasurable activities.

- Get involved in a new activity.

- Help others.

- Spend time with people who support you and encourage you rather than people who tear down your self esteem.

- Don't set your expectations for yourself too high.

"One gets over the past by doing things differently in the present"
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