Non-Judgement
- See, but don't evaluate as good or bad. Notice just the facts.
- Accept each moment like a blanket spread out on the lawn, accepting both the rain and the sun and each that falls upon it.
- Acknowledge the difference between helpful and harmful, the safe and the dangerous, but don't judge them.
- When you find yourself judging, don't judge your judging.
Ideas for Practicing Non-Judgment
Leaving out comparisons, judgments, assumptions:
1. Practice observing judgmental thoughts and statements, saying in your mind, "A judgmental thought has arose in my mind."
2. Count judgmental thoughts and statements by moving objects or pieces of paper from one pocket to the other, by clicking a sports counter, or marking a piece of paper.
3. Replace judgmental thoughts and statements with non-judgmental thoughts and statements.
- Describe the facts of the event or situation - only what can be observed with your senses.
- Describe the consequences of the event. Keep to the facts.
- Describe your own feelings in response to the facts (remember, emotions are not judgments).
4. Observe your judgmental facial expressions, postures, and tone of voice (including in your head), practice half-smiling.
5. Change judgmental expressions, postures, and tone of voice.
6. Tell someone what you did today non-judgmentally, or about an event that occurred. Stay very concrete; only relate what you observed directly.
7. Write out a non-judgmental description of an event that prompted an emotion.
8. Write out a non-judgmental moment by moment account of a particularly important episode in your day. Describe both what happened in your environment and what your thoughts, feelings, and actions were. Leave out any analysis of why something happened, or why you thought, felt, or acted as you did. Stick to the facts that you observed.
Participation
Participating is the ultimate goal. We observe and describe to understand and improve things.
Participating is entering wholly into an activity, becoming one with the activity (eg. playing a musical instrument).
Mindlessness is participating without attention to a task. Mindfulness is participating with attention.
Ideas for Practicing Participating
1. Focus your attention on your body touching the chair you sit in. Consider how the chair accepts you totally, holds you up, supports your back, and keeps you from falling down on the floor.
2. Focus your attention the sheets and covers on your bed. Consider the touch of the sheets and covers holding you up, surrounding and keeping you warm and comfortable.
3. Dance to music; take a dance class.
4. Sing along with music you are listening to; sing in the shower.
5. Sing and dance while watching TV.
6. Jump out of bed and dance, or sing before getting dressed.
7. Go to a church that sings, and join in the singing.
8. Play karaoke with friends or at a karaoke club or bar.
9. Throw yourself into what another person is saying.
10. Go running, focusing only on running; play a sport
Steps for Increasing Positive Experiences
Build Positive Experiences
Short Term: Do pleasant things that are possible now.
- Make your own list of joyful experiences that you can have every day.
- Do at least one or two of these experiences mindfully each day.
Long Term: Make changes in your life so that positive events will occur more often. Build a "life worth living".
- Work towards goals - Accumulate positives: Make a list of positive events you want. List small steps towards goals. Take the first step.
- Attend to relationships: Repair old relationships, work on current relationships.
- Avoid avoiding: Avoid giving up.
Be Mindful of Positive Experiences
- Focus attention on positive events that happen (even and especially small ones).
- Refocus when your mind wanders to future worries, past regrets, current distractions, and other thoughts while you participate mindfully in the joyful experience.
- Make a list of things that interrupt enjoyment for you and be prepared to turn your mind when these things appear.
Be Unmindful of Worries
Distract your thinking from:
- When the positive experience will end.
- Whether you deserve the positive experience.
- How much more might be expected of you now.
- See, but don't evaluate as good or bad. Notice just the facts.
- Accept each moment like a blanket spread out on the lawn, accepting both the rain and the sun and each that falls upon it.
- Acknowledge the difference between helpful and harmful, the safe and the dangerous, but don't judge them.
- When you find yourself judging, don't judge your judging.
Ideas for Practicing Non-Judgment
Leaving out comparisons, judgments, assumptions:
1. Practice observing judgmental thoughts and statements, saying in your mind, "A judgmental thought has arose in my mind."
2. Count judgmental thoughts and statements by moving objects or pieces of paper from one pocket to the other, by clicking a sports counter, or marking a piece of paper.
3. Replace judgmental thoughts and statements with non-judgmental thoughts and statements.
- Describe the facts of the event or situation - only what can be observed with your senses.
- Describe the consequences of the event. Keep to the facts.
- Describe your own feelings in response to the facts (remember, emotions are not judgments).
4. Observe your judgmental facial expressions, postures, and tone of voice (including in your head), practice half-smiling.
5. Change judgmental expressions, postures, and tone of voice.
6. Tell someone what you did today non-judgmentally, or about an event that occurred. Stay very concrete; only relate what you observed directly.
7. Write out a non-judgmental description of an event that prompted an emotion.
8. Write out a non-judgmental moment by moment account of a particularly important episode in your day. Describe both what happened in your environment and what your thoughts, feelings, and actions were. Leave out any analysis of why something happened, or why you thought, felt, or acted as you did. Stick to the facts that you observed.
Participation
Participating is the ultimate goal. We observe and describe to understand and improve things.
Participating is entering wholly into an activity, becoming one with the activity (eg. playing a musical instrument).
Mindlessness is participating without attention to a task. Mindfulness is participating with attention.
Ideas for Practicing Participating
1. Focus your attention on your body touching the chair you sit in. Consider how the chair accepts you totally, holds you up, supports your back, and keeps you from falling down on the floor.
2. Focus your attention the sheets and covers on your bed. Consider the touch of the sheets and covers holding you up, surrounding and keeping you warm and comfortable.
3. Dance to music; take a dance class.
4. Sing along with music you are listening to; sing in the shower.
5. Sing and dance while watching TV.
6. Jump out of bed and dance, or sing before getting dressed.
7. Go to a church that sings, and join in the singing.
8. Play karaoke with friends or at a karaoke club or bar.
9. Throw yourself into what another person is saying.
10. Go running, focusing only on running; play a sport
Steps for Increasing Positive Experiences
Build Positive Experiences
Short Term: Do pleasant things that are possible now.
- Make your own list of joyful experiences that you can have every day.
- Do at least one or two of these experiences mindfully each day.
Long Term: Make changes in your life so that positive events will occur more often. Build a "life worth living".
- Work towards goals - Accumulate positives: Make a list of positive events you want. List small steps towards goals. Take the first step.
- Attend to relationships: Repair old relationships, work on current relationships.
- Avoid avoiding: Avoid giving up.
Be Mindful of Positive Experiences
- Focus attention on positive events that happen (even and especially small ones).
- Refocus when your mind wanders to future worries, past regrets, current distractions, and other thoughts while you participate mindfully in the joyful experience.
- Make a list of things that interrupt enjoyment for you and be prepared to turn your mind when these things appear.
Be Unmindful of Worries
Distract your thinking from:
- When the positive experience will end.
- Whether you deserve the positive experience.
- How much more might be expected of you now.
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